There have been countless moments in my life, after doing something normal or natural to me, that somebody has said, “You are just too nice.” We can all think of someone who puts a lot of their heart out there, letting vulnerability take over, and when they are “too nice”, they get stepped on, wronged in some unfair way. We try to warn people, “Don’t be too nice.”
While working, I have offered to help others on several occasions, even when it was inconvenient, just because I knew they needed help. A reality of choosing to help someone when it does not benefit yourself is knowing they have the option to take advantage of your kindness; they reap the benefits, and you end up feeling used or insignificant. There have been many times I have told people of how small I felt just because someone abused the help I had given, and most often, what I hear is, “Well, Nichelle, you’re just too nice.”
It is easy to be “too nice” when everyone steps on you all the time.
There are dominant people and passive people, and it is easy to know who is which.
A simple test. If you are walking down the aisle of the grocery store or just down the street, and you and someone else are about to walk into each other, do you move first, second, or not at all?
If you are a passive person, most likely, you will move first. You may also just be oblivious and move second, but something I have noticed in my own life and the people I know and love, is that most dominant people do not move first or even at all.
Of course, this is not always true, but with me, it is easy to tell that I am passive person because I move out of people’s way all day, every day. I hold open doors for people even when it seems unnecessary because it is the nice thing to do. I do kind things even when I know it will be misused. I am a passive person.
With being passive comes more labels attached, such as, cooperative, unargumentative, and courteous. And of course, being “too nice.”
The world is full of darkness. We are separated by hate, and there is always something bad happening. We live in a time that shootings, car accidents, terrorist attacks, racist incidents, political issues (and many more things that will make me cry if I keep thinking of them) are common. There is a lot of bad in the world. And though I believe every single person is good and has the utmost potential to be kind to everyone, there is no denying that there are corrupt, mean, and selfish people.
I like to think that people have a reason for being this way, even if it does not make it justified. There must be an explanation, not just that they feel like being rude.
No matter why they are mean though, when I come across a person with these qualities, and I attempt to help them, be kind to them, and they wrong me, I am met with, “too nice.” To which I only have to say:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “TOO NICE.”
If we all have the capability of kindness, then there is no reason why there should ever be “too nice.” The word “too” implies a negative meaning, like it is excessive. And there should be nothing negative or immoderate about being kind.
Being “too nice” often portrays being naïve and innocent, as if we do not know any better. But if I ever seem “too nice”, I am doing it on purpose, and it is wiser than one might think.
We should value this trait as if our world depends on it, which it does. We all depend on our future and what we make of it, and only by using kindness will we make it better.
I should not have to worry that I will get trampled on by being nice. Kindness makes my heart happy, and people believing kindness to be negative makes me sick. I never want to be told I am “too nice”. We should all be supportive of one another, loving, and sharing.
We can only convince society that being “too nice” is not real when everyone decides to be kind, all the time, no matter what. Everyone should be “too nice.”